Happy Tuesday! I know, I know - it's been a while since I last posted, and I feel bad about it. Sorry! I have so much on my plate right now and of course it's the worst possible time to keep up a blog, so this was bound to happen.
I'm not going to lie - this past week was rough. It sucked in a major way and I got my ass kicked. Not literally, of course, although I kinda would’ve probably preferred an ass whoopin’ over the stress I endured this week.
Mind you, my life has had its fair share of stress these past few years, but never anything I couldn’t handle. I’ve always been a busy body, taking on college, full time jobs, and various projects all at once. I may be a spacey mess 99.9% of the time but I’m a good multi-tasker (at least I'd like to think so). I’d rather juggle more than one thing and feel like I’m being as productive as possible than sit around and wish I was doing more. “Don’t bite off more than you can chew” was null advice to me, which probably makes me a fool. Why wouldn’t I be able to chew it? Is it really more than I can chew? How would I know that what I’m biting off is too much to chew? Would I realize between incremental bites that it’s too much to chew, or when I’ve already bitten off a mouthful and it’s too late?
Woah, there. Sorry...got a bit carried away there. But I guess what I'm trying to say is that as much as I want to always have that "Little Train That Could" mentality, I don't know if it was a good idea to take on so much right now, especially since last week had me pretty much wanting to rip my hair out.
How else would I stretch my comfort zone, though? You see, I think of it this way: your comfort zone is like a muscle. You work at it a little more each time, pushing further, slowly but consistently, until one day you can endure many times over what you could before. I'm not comfortable right now - no way, at all - in fact, I've cried multiple times, cursed at the ceiling and wished things were different. I'd much prefer taking less classes or working part-time. I'm blessed and grateful to have what I have, and sometimes I feel guilty for feeling this way, but I won't lie - I'd love life to be easier right now.
For a while, I asked myself if taking on so much was a good idea. Sometimes, I still wonder if I made the right choice. But after reading The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy (review coming in the future, btw), I became more confident in my ability to withstand anything life threw at me and come out on top of it. I believe that every bit of hard work I do will add up and compound into big results, even if sometimes it's very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It seems like lately, every day is a constant struggle to see the bigger picture, and while I fully acknowledge that the year ahead is probably going to be my hardest one yet, it will be over. It will end.
And whatever follows after that? Well, I think that life might have a better surprise in store for me than I expect. I just have to keep chuggin' along, and keep believing that everything I'm going through right now is worthwhile. The best is yet to come.
xo E
(P.S. I have so much to catch up on about life lately and I promise I'll get to it soon!)
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