A Tidbit on Weddings and Marriage

What our engagement taught me about being excited to be a bride vs. being ready to be a wife.

WE GOT MARRIED! I know, I know - old news. But I still feel this post is important as it obviously talks about THE most important day in our life together thus far! You see, I loved our wedding. Things didn't go 100% as planned of course (I don't think they ever do), but I think the great thing about weddings is that they're so fun and full of joy that imperfections add to their charm and uniqueness which make them even more memorable. There isn't a thing I would change about our special day.

Anyone will tell you that I am a big fan of weddings - I love going to them, I enjoyed planning mine, and I get so excited for new brides and will gladly help them DIY for their weddings. I'm that girl who will ask to look at your engagement ring and "Oooo" and "Ahhh" at it and ask you if you're Team Satin or Team Lace (yeah, THAT girl). But I'll also be the first to tell you that weddings are no joke. They can be nerve-wrecking, stressful, expensive, and complicated, pesky buggers to plan (or not - I'll touch on this next time). Nevertheless, weddings are known as The Best Day Ever, the thing of little girls' dreams, the happy ending to every story, the most unforgettable, special day of all unforgettable, special days...you get my drift. Ah yes, a wedding is, for the most part, a splendid occasion, but it is not to be confused with 'marriage'; these two concepts are often used interchangeably, but if the latter isn't on the forefront, you missed the whole point. Was I ready to plan a wedding? So much so I could've peed my pants from excitement the moment Adam proposed. Was I ready to get married? Was I ready to be this man's wife for the rest of my life (notice I rhymed)?  That, my friends, was the real question.

Don't get me wrong - I knew Adam was The One. But I was engaged at 24, and my gosh, I could barely cook anything without making the smoke detector go off. I was young, and I didn't know what I was doing half the time. I was simply learning how to be an adult, a responsible, mature, independent woman. ADD may have played a role in my impulsive ways, and I'll tell ya what - I still consider myself a risk-taker today. But I'm no fool.

That being said, even then I knew this was the most serious and important decision of my life. I wanted to take my time with the engagement. I noticed very quickly that time flies when you're engaged, and I was grateful to have made the engagement as long as I did. I also noticed that (strangely reminiscent of some sort of brainwashing magic) the moment the ring goes on your finger, it's easy to ignore reality outside of the wedding world and obsessively pin wedding related things on Pinterest, collect piles and piles of wedding mags, attend every bridal show in town and religiously watch "Say Yes To The Dress" on Friday nights whilst getting your nails painted by your mom (c'mon, I know I'm not the only one). But even though I was on Cloud 9 with my bridal glow and my love for Adam grew stronger every day, I knew I had to come back down to Earth eventually. I needed to ask less questions like "Does this color napkin look good with that color tablecloth?", "These hors d'oeuvres or those?" or, especially, "Are there any more alternations I could possibly make to this dress to become even more broke than I already am?" and more questions like: "How can I be the best kind of wife to this amazing man?", "What vows will I make to my husband and what can I do or avoid to make sure I don't break them?", and "What kind of values do I want my new husband and I to instill in our children, and how should we raise them?" You get the point. Yeah, weddings are no joke...but ALWAYS put marriage first. If you are engaged, first - congratulations! Second, my hope for you is that you remember to take deep breaths every once in a while and think about the things that truly matter (because some soul-searching never hurt anybody after all).

xo E

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